BELIEVING YOU ARE RIGHT IS SUCH A HEADY WINE. It is intoxicatingly powerful to center your identity on what you attribute to be, not only the truth for yourself, but the truth for every other person.
Once you have identified with such a belief system, you can never afford to be wrong. You have become merged with your beliefs. What a conundrum! If your belief system is found to be flawed, your very identity is threatened.
Now, I have been giving thought to the idea of “not knowing.” Yes, I realize that does not seem to be a very attractive idea. It is not a concept that would engender a lot of passion or gathering power. And it certainly would not seem to be a rallying concept to base a world mission on. You probably could not take up much of an offering amongst a group of people who have admitted to themselves they really do not know much, if anything, about God and truth.
There is a saying that goes like this… “Those who know, do not say. Those who say, do not know.”
A little too mystical for most of us perhaps, but think about it for a moment.
Consider the ramifications of honestly admitting to not knowing. Well, unless you had swallowed the guilt trip that you are supposed to know and know it well… knowing that you do not know is really quite liberating. You are free to not have all the answers. You are also free from the pressure of trying to impress anyone else with your depth of knowledge.
Actually I think that resting in the reality of understanding that you do not know is faith. For years I lived with a religious mindset that was constantly striving and struggling with growing my faith… developing my faith… helping others gain greater faith… ugh! It is, at best, a frustrating exercise in futility.
One fellow might say… “There is no reason not to know the truth… we have the Bible and the Holy Spirit to teach us!” Ok. I think I know what you mean. However, if it were as clear cut as that, why then is the world of Christendom, all looking in the same Bible with the same Holy Spirit, so completely divided up? Why is each segment set apart from the rest and each believing they have the clearest revelation?
Someone said, “Even the clearest of revelations is but a finger pointing at the moon.”
So, Abraham, have you lost your faith and turned your back on Jesus? On the contrary… heavens no. I am simply learning to rest without having to have the comforting illusion of a correct belief system to protect me. Whoever God is, He is greater than the sum total of all our belief systems purged and merged into one perfect doctrine.
I rest in that.
Hi Abraham
I really identify with your post. I find myself saying less and less lately. I feel guilty about it sometimes, but I feel like a liar if I speak ‘the truth’ and am not really sure anymore. I have cried tears to God wishing for my old assurance to return. I would love to say I am resting in not knowing, but my mind is constantly wrestling with doctrinal issues. I find some comfort in your sentence: “Actually I think that resting in the reality of understanding that you do not know is faith.”
Julia
By: Julia on March 22, 2009
at 6:34 am
Wow… what a marvelous comment! Thanks so much for the input. I also changed the picture at the top. I was thinking of putting a little statement in the photo saying, “I do not need a path to enjoy my walk in the forest.” Or something like that. By the way, I think that the feeling of “wishing for my old assurance to return” is just part of waking up. The old assurance was based on getting all your ducks in a row… and just how long do live ducks stay lined up anyway?
By: Abraham on March 22, 2009
at 6:51 am
Thanks Abraham.
By: Julia on March 22, 2009
at 8:56 am
hugs Julia. I can definitely relate to that. It seems sometimes the more I wrestle and learn the more doubts I have.
I agree Abraham, the old assurance was having the ducks in a row. It worked for awhile but once they get out of place that assurance quickly falls apart.
By: misskiara07 on March 22, 2009
at 10:48 pm
hugs gratefully received!
By: Julia on March 23, 2009
at 10:10 am
I’ve just seen your comment on “Divine Nobodies”. Looking at your links I guess we are on a similar journey.
I’ve been on this journey outside the four walls for nearly 40 years. I have a bit of a reputation for asking the awkward questions to which there are no easy answers.
In 1966 (over 40 years ago) I was leading a men’s discussion group where I asked the question, “What is the purpose of life?”. The immediate response from the Vicar was, “Peter, you can’t ask that, it’s the 64,000 dollar question (a lot of men in those days). Let’s go on to the next question”. With hindsight that was the beginning of my journey away from traditional Christianity.
I had always been guided by head knowledge rather than heart awareness UNTIL I read “The Shack” in the summer of 2007. I am retired and I had the chance to read many of the reviews (maybe 500). I learned so much from the negative reviews of why people believe what they believe.
I was already in trouble for suggesting that the majority of divisive theology was the work of the devil – I have since modified that to asking, “What is theology and how much do we need?”
Life is full of MYSTERY and PARADOX – at best we only see a small part of the picture, but after all these years I do have my own answer to the purpose of life! It can be summed up in one word, ADOPTION! Ask me to expand on that and I would suggest that we have the opportunity of being adopted into Father’s loving family.
My web site is a reflection of the questions I’ve been asking over the years – food for thought for those who are willing to look outside the box!
You will see from my blog that so much has been coming together over the last couple of years – maybe I now need to relax in “The Room of Grace” and encourage others on the journey.
I’d be interested in any thoughts you might have.
By: Old Pete on April 23, 2009
at 6:20 am